Many people start a process of change with a clear picture in mind: you set a goal, make a plan, and follow the steps one by one. As if growth is a straight line from A to B. But anyone who truly runs a business or develops themselves knows it doesn’t work that way.

By Amaryllis De Bast

Growth is not a straight line. It is a winding road full of doubts, unexpected turns, energy peaks, and moments where you no longer know which direction to take.

The reality of change: two forces in conflict

In coaching, we often see a tension between two opposing forces that are constantly at play. On the one hand, there is the desire for growth. You want to move forward, improve things, challenge yourself, and take new steps. On the other hand, there is the need for certainty. You want to stay in control, avoid risk, and hold on to what you know and what has worked in the past.

These two forces constantly clash. You know what you want, yet you still delay. You see opportunities, but you hesitate. You want to move forward, but something holds you back. This is not a flaw in your system. This is exactly how change works.

What is really holding you back?

In this winding phase of growth, the same underlying patterns often surface. Not the visible problems, but the deeper layer underneath.

For example, beliefs such as:

• “I am not a strong leader.”
• “I am not good with numbers.”
• “I have to figure this out on my own.”

Or recurring patterns like:

• repeatedly attracting the same type of problems in your team
• postponing difficult conversations
• staying stuck in operational pressure without truly leading

And beneath that lie emotions that often get little space: doubt, frustration, uncertainty, or fear of losing control. It is precisely by making this layer visible that movement becomes possible. Not because everything is suddenly solved, but because you start to see differently.

Take one step at a time

Change rarely happens in big leaps. It is not a spectacular jump forward, but a series of small, sometimes invisible steps. Sometimes it means pausing. Sometimes it means making a difficult decision. Sometimes it means letting go of something that once worked but no longer serves you.

As Charles F. Kettering once said: “A problem well stated is a problem half solved”

It also requires persistence in moments when things don’t flow easily. That is where growth happens: not in perfect moments, but in the moments where it feels uncomfortable.

The role of coaching in this winding path

Coaching does not make the road straight. It helps you navigate the curves.

It helps you to:

• gain clarity on where you are right now
• see clearly where you want to go
• understand what is holding you back
• and most importantly: stay in motion, even when it gets difficult

At some point, it becomes clear: you know where you stand and where you want to go, and you begin to see what is holding you back.